Welcome My Murderer

My love for my loves is a brilliant thing

Damn the hate in my veins

Gift of gratitude to hold and uplift

But it slips

Be ready to etch my grave

Ignore the ignorant

The ignorant

The enemy

The faces move

The fire stays

Painted in crimson

Met anew day by day

The lives of others are not my fault

Responsibility

I live for myself

No one lives for me

Own your own responsibilities

This is truth

Pith on display

Fear bred of love

Bred of care

Where the eagles dare

Far from the apathy

Bring on the words

Enervate

I beg on bended knee

Show me the body that will put me in the Mercy Seat

My dears

I will see you when the trumpets scream.

Enema Enemy

The enema in me is my Hard
Not heart, you dipshit prick
My Hard
Word you don't understand
Fucktard
Look up "cuntface"
my Hard
Enemy...
Neck cords become tentacles
On guard
I hate these motherfucking dicks with
All my heart
The enemy in me
Is my heart
Word you don't understand
My Hard
hate.
Chords fake word hatredy
Kill Hard...
Dead heart...
Remove the part
The Hatred part.
Fuck what you can do to me
You will never win.
Flushing your shit all out of me...(yes, the elipsis means repeated)

Blackjack 36

Still busting all the rules to ashes,

Rub ‘em on my chest.

An epic fail ad fin is fun and et-cet, Bet!

Backboard now firewood

Howlin’ at the moon.

Ridin’ on the Green Line

My stop be comin’ soon.

Silent in the belfry now

Ate up all the bats.

Move on into diffidence

A golden stench morass.

Nine year number cycle only took me five

I told you muzzah-fussahs now

Death can look alive.

Three tongues can get along better than one

Figure that riddle, doll, you ready use the gun.

Man he come around again in black trenchcoat

His horns a little longer, halo ‘round his throat

Stangehouse

Titmouse

Press, press, press

Discover the polarity in mixing up laments

Disorder, tri-polar explosive endless bomb

Watch the babies grow up and bang bitches to moms

So hit me dollar make me holler

Silent as the moon

Don’t bogart the bottle, son

My time be comin’ soon

Hear the yowlin’ train?

Singin hound blues.

Hell-hound blues.

Rot-gut booze

Me worn out like some shoes.

Polarities

Oh I remember when Mikey had these dreams

These dreams of becoming a scientist

But they turned into a fucken sludge made o’ schemes

He looked up from his life and wondered how he got there

How the dreams he had in 1992 turned into a quagmire of despair.

The six strings did not just draw blood

They drew something worse

Something undefined

Something bare

Not a single cunt kenned the score

And that there was a Hell goin’ on upstairs.

There was a Hell goin’ on upstairs.

Mikey held out fighting and visiting jails

Getting cop-raped with fat fucken thumbs

He kicked some cunt’s skull in until the bastard’s brains turned to mud

That attempted murder

Just too much to handle

So down to the south he fled

He loaded up on smack and green for a blowjob

He took himself a small Texas stead.

But it was shit as everything is

And he hopped another Greyhound bus

Found this sexy little thing who liked Dada

And fucked her in a bathroom somewhere in Kansas.

Next Chattanooga

And a house fulla cockroaches

Some faggot who tried to suck him off

And in a fugue he almost allowed it to happen

Then he broke the motherfucker’s muff.

So he went Buck Nutty

And deep dicked the world nutty

Landed this sexy little cunt named Courtney

And the lot of his friends became jealous.

But he didn’t care

Let the daft cunts stare

Mikey’s a God and that’s all there is to it.

But to stay in Heaven he needed his horse

To ride through the Pearly Gates

So he started collecting

And bones he went breaking

And eyes he crushed under his boot.

Oh Dirty Mikey…

Can you ever live it down?

Then them six strings came back and so did the Star

But he was a Star and she was a Star

A Star of the underground the other Star despised

So he beat her fucken ass and left her to die

Sickening is the thought but every moment deserved

For him

And for her.

Next went the club scene and everything obscene

His dick it stayed wetter than the inside of a toilet

His blood ran green with chemicals and despoilants

Zero Gravity and everything done nicely

Four pussies landed in Milwaukee

But that was nothing

Nothing compared to Mikey’s little trip back home

If a home he ever had in Tennessee

To that dead goddamn Valley

That place in the dirt

Where he deep tunneled everything with a pussy

And those six strings that killed him

Brought a swoon he despised

But loved out of the corners of his eyes.

So he played diabetes

And got needles with easies

Does that make sense

You shit cunt yes it does

And I’m cursing too much but I guess that’s the way it goes

When you’ve lived in the mud.

There was Whitney

And Beth

And Savannah

And Jenny

And Cora

Kristina

And Anna

So much vagina it began to stink

But nothing served to calm like the pink

I guess Mikey wanted back in the womb

And the OC did its best to presume

A way back inside

Too bad not prescribed

But finally the Xanax vanilla.

The tragedy here is that Mikey,

See,

He never really meant

Or CHOSE

To be this kind of guy

Fighting every last motherfucker

And breaking their ribs

Skull fucking their eyes

Ripping their windpipes

Maybe killing

No cries from the cops as yet but who knows.

Loved the knife at 15

Used it a thousand times

But somehow he lives free

And was free to do all these things I have shared with thee

Married

There is no more to share

Aside from a legacy

Polarity.

The Wandering Hangman

These towns I have trod

Footsteps crushing gravel

And snow

Singing as I go

Weep through a smile as I sing

Met the Eczema Kid

And the Tumor Man-Thing

Wiping the soot from the dark side of the spoon

Slept often on concrete

Pondering doom

Naked, enraged

Steel locks disengage

So begins my short-lived reprieve from the cage.

There’s no dress like a jumpsuit when dancing

Before the Judge

Romancing

Showing respect while swallowing sludge

The cast of my eyes doth not budge.

The Felons they laugh when they see Crazy

The cajole Crazy; Attack!

They know but little as Crazy

Cannot be cajoled toward attack

(To Provoke is the trick)

Nay, that manipulation

Is just for the Frightened; the Slaves.

Not for the Golden so used to the bars

For the Gold is always barred by sick mental states

(And redundant as advertisements to one such as me)

So piss on me

Beat me

Kill me

Don’t bore me

For banality only death penalties do.

Divermis Divergence

One night the man in his cups

Supped

Supped

And further;

Within his skull something sharp and biting

Moved with utmost fervor.

Shaking the feeling stood he did and checked upon his dogs

Asleep and happy no sound of thrashing;

 Furry and vicious logs.

So back he sat before the keys to polish his third act

The book to save his loves

The book he based on fact.

Intracranial came a slither

Splitting temples wide

Cause to wonder as never before

What noisome thing lay inside

It moves there is no doubt

His heart gone all a’ flutter

Not from love but something worse

He reaches for his lover.

Comfort unfound

And why the sound

Bangs loud that battering ram

He realized that over time

Himself he did Goddamn.

No escaping dreams.

They pierce like Conure’s screams.

The line is thin as spider’s silk

Separating his skull seams.

His yen that the worm falls dead

But it will not relent

So in his cups

He sups in mire

One will win

And one will expire.

All's Well That Ends

I can watch this place rot in time-lapse

I can think and spread damnation

How often I spend in silence

I am often suspended in kind

Dying in Oxy-Containment relapse

Dreaming a sickness I crave over all

Casting blame took forever

Oh well…

All is well.

I molt peeling layers of ephemera off my face

My salvation is calm

I will smile all the way up to the grave

Hell blazes a ‘No Vacancy’ sign

Praising reflections of amalgamation

And creating a Christ for the murder;

The murder of all

Oh well motherfuckers

All is constant

Constantly well

Now the tolerance is shifting

 In this game never ending

And all is well that ends.

Autoformography

Barely past nicotine age when I viewed the ocean green

Blue waves of Pacific serene waves below yet soundless;

While Pablito and I bonded with plants of ill-repute

A car with which we’d absconded

Older than me this Mexican he did school me on points

Much finer than those I oft used to bleed.

“You prefer this world to see,” he told me

Sweeping his arm while I fired a Frankie

Chopped skin spread thin six foot one and lanky

The heat closed in and I relished the din

Of the beautiful girls sat behind we.

Talking in curious code

Diffident to the hold-back of Will to Explode

Ignoring Pablito for a moment, I turned

A tempest in my gut that would not be spurned

While chewing the lips of the first I selected

My hand found the mound of the other suggested

A debauch did we attend!

Not Libertines

But iconic men

Adonis and Atlas we were.

Relishing vibrations of kit-flood and fur

When finished they slept and for spheres I could swear;

Did weep out of Fear-Lust turned over.

Pablito said, “This is not love, I know these girls well.”

My well poisoned I did not dispel the urge to call them

And call them again

But further exploits uncloaked the truth of his words.

Yet still I tread the swamps; lifted tires

Signed off on bad checks and cut copper wires

Anything to continue the motion

Even to celluloid once filmed my notion

So now, shall we relax?

Often I came back and harder again.

Bringing us;

Problematically;

To the Star.

Oh every man and woman is a Star!

And under the stars we did sin

The night she stuffed a blade in my shoulder

I left with a hideous grin.

With an ex-sanguine shirt I went to a brother

Ripped the red off and asked “have you another?”

To my luck said he that he did.

I left him, after donning, in a curious spin

Of madness and wondering wonder.

The next day I moved with finesse

To a further more lovely conquest named Lynn

A vampire girl

I just had to give in!

We filled large rooms with our musk

And from light to dusk we found places to fill up again.

Stars do beckon

I answered the calls

We feasted on white girl and black compact balls

Pushing infection from spots on my back

She joked; “My maidenhood you shall always lack.”

My retort; “Knew you not when age twelve.

“And cheers to that fact or in cell I’d dwell.”

She cajoled me to take up the gun.

Burn spots for smack

Attack bang and run

I drove like a wicked machine.

Unrepentant the Star

Unto herself

A Queen

In smoke I awoke in Appalachian

Tennessee.

So…do you see?

There are things that make up the rent-naked me

I dress after dawn every day

After washing the silt and sully away

I guess it is filtered

Flows into rivers

Tributaries traversing the mountains,

Dirty, dead skin flake fountains.

Now music and marriage

Debt I disparage

Drives me to scrawl drivel for pay!

Perhaps all this ink I’ve dumped in the sink

Will eat its way into a budding brain

Like amoeba

And that’s good enough for today.

Slippage

The man neither young nor old loved the night

Quiet sound of footsteps echoing off the faces of dead stars

Houses in umbrage sheltered human burritos with schedules

And rules to follow in order to keep the cogs in motion

This night showed little singularity as his four-four cadence continued

Pushing the temple onward and outward

While the mind ran amok contemplating

Self-perpetuating

Systems

Glitches of cognitive dissonance.

Neither young nor old this man night’s long lover

Realized all he had learned everything

While knowing nothing at all

Self-esteem had stretched into boredom

Self-image he left to indifference

Better to move and continue to move and leave bliss

In favor of ignorance

A shimmer beckoned from a copse of trees

Not light but a lighter

A fiend in the woods firing up his existence

Why not go take a gander and see if their plumage matched?

Glug went the bottle drowning the throat.

Cloud sent signals to dead eyes in the sky.

Come begged the nightingale urging him on

You said the Ancient of Gravity Grind.

And regaled the younger with probes and prickles

He claimed to spit upon thought

Ponder or plot for most plots end up where all people do

Queried then he the younger what has been learned

Aggressive passage through passages passing by

And bye said the ink to the rye

Some refuse to be caught for all ready the cage

Has driven them upward to fly or be swatted

And the outcome no being decides.

One circle talks much saying nothing

Another hummed and revealed the all

Soon youth and age saw no separation

No distinguishing marks from one to the other

Glug went the gut satisfied but bereft

Cloud filled the lungs with tar for the morning

Mourn said the time with passionate passing

How asked the man too young to start rotting

So the Ancient waved a stick-arrow hand to the right

Appearing

A Gauguinic cherub chub adorned with the clothes of the sun.

Bleeding

From the palette painted not by new morning

But by handcraft of evil and petulant glory

Jumping and cursing the old watched the middle watching the boy roll around

Yea said the wise to the ego despised

May you push this aside and one day be ripped wide

Heed said the Ancient bowing to the moon

Flaking to ashes with a parting song

When next he said we three chance to meet

We will not be apart from the eons

Stop

Silence

Sign to the singing wind flowing in time

Too old to be young but too young to be old

A four-four cadence returning to soothe

This man who loved night

Lost in the echoes of headache

As it aches right now

Throbbing with things informed and then known

Pens can be pushed

Door open be thrown

But no force can kill the killer who made the murder

The theft of the matter of matter

And like zero symbolic perfected phantasms

Pass said Time with a yawn

Pawn called the sun as it broke veils of love

Remember the man who loved you so

As he ages and dies so do I.

A Fifth of Pique

As his body heated up with the grumble of an unused water-heater

And his eyes grew wider to accommodate his pupils

The world changed.

The world changed but him, so just so

Just the same.

No came the howl and the walls were destroyed

Bones began shifting and shapes undiscovered

Were found to be as mutable as the future

But that implant would not be denied.

Push away the violation

Strangulation and hours in closets

Leave off the nails, they cut not anymore

And the Warden is old and succumbed lying down

Somewhere peaceful he knows

Under a blanket of smooth Astroturf

Become one with age

And the love given by time that repose

Yes, that sweet repose.

The Warden fought for Freedom

Or something his fellows chose

For him

He grew and he mated

And as issue flowed

Grew into horrors created

Well one!

The other just a studious little cherub.

Onward the punishment due

Paying the price for not being

You but he

Or me

And one we are

Though he strives so hard

To be unlike you

Dead now in the cold ground

Strike, damn clock

Peck chime and peck

The mirror is covered with cracks

And spackled with life

The sink is on

And the nightmare is gone

But it nickers and whinnies and blows horrid smoke

And feasts on the weeds in this garden

Grown of he or we or me

It’s just me

O Hell made burden and brings fire down

Saturn in Gemini

Leo the crown

Taurus the house

Tried to be a mouse

But castigation brought pain

Brought sadness and heckles

Every line above

And all those to follow

Why try to hide the Devil Inside?

Where does one err

Pumping gold molten pipes

Fly now this wretched

Most sorrowful soul

Laughter is the best medicine

And if laughter is brought

By filling endless plots

Never ye mind what comes after

Left falls

Right falls

Each raise

Middle breaks

Justice is gone

And illusion has won

Stagger

Crawl

Glints of sun

Reveal truth

What truth?

That all of our hands are covered in blood

Are you innocent?

Answer before the belly burns!

Midwest

Though not my first

You may feel special

I will show you pictures

To prove

That I love you

Ocular grenades

I find so piercing

Blue yet gray and furthermore

Past color

After bleeding much

From asking Jesus

To give my children eyes

They remain blind

Light cigarettes

And poke so blindly

What will regenerate?

Degeneration

Generations

Evolve

Blinded these babies did not ask for this

And yet you cursed

With protein shut their eyes

How could you?

No not my first

But make no mistake

I own you mind and body

From toe to head

Hypothalamus

I bend to my whim

Can you not feel your temperature rising

With love

Always with love

This is love

Much warmer than the blood on the floor

Love

Bargaining with that God in the Mirror

Leave the string alone

Do not rent out the gas chamber

But God wants immaculate count

Results without doubt

And who am I to criticize?

All I can do is cry

With love

As I love everyone

I love everyone

This diadem of boiled skulls

A testament to those I love

Why must you leave?

You cannot leave

I own you

You owe me

So decorate my dwelling forevermore

Your soul will live

Through my eyes

I love you.